As my belly grows bigger and the baby's kicks get stronger, my fears about becoming a mother weigh even heavier. Since we tried so long to become parents, you'd think I would have prepared myself better - nope! Although I'm one hundred percent ready for this stage of my life, I still worry about the inevitable changes about to happen in 3 short months... eek!
In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.
- Myla Kabat-Zinn
I need at least 9 hours of sleep to function - how will I cope with middle-of-the-night feedings? My businesses are just getting off the ground - how will I find time to grow them if I'm spending all my spare moments napping? Hal and I barely scrape by on our own - how will we afford the additional expense of a child? And breastfeeding - will my nipples fall off? Our marriage - will we kill each other in our half-sleep states? My friends - will I be able to hold adult conversations? Our baby - will he be a terror? Mostly I worry I'll lose myself. My independence, my identity, my drive - those parts of me I've worked so hard over the years to develop.
The most extraordinary thing about motherhood is finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.
- Jodi Picoult
Of course, I realize that none of these questions can be answered with mere speculation. Only by doing. And to deal with the changes, I remind myself that nothing will necessarily be taken away. Time, I suppose. But I'm also gaining time with a new little person. And a new family. My priorities will shift, but I'm hoping in the best way imaginable. Change is coming, faster than I imagined. But I intensely look forward to the new adventure. And what an adventure it will be!
A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten,
and the future worth living for.
- Pablo Picasso
