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For today's Get Happy post, let's talk about love and compassion. The kind we give to ourselves. Psychological research now proves that people who accept their imperfections and give themselves a break, tend to be happier and more optimistic.
In this study, Dr. Kristin Neff discovered that “the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line...because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”
If you could use some help in the self love department, there are a few tools to re-train your state of mind. Meditation is one of the best ways combat negative self-talk. Or take "compassion breaks" throughout the day, repeating affirmations like, “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.” And here are 50 more ways to give yourself a break.
I like to think I have a great deal of self compassion. I always treat myself to indulgences for task completion or a job well done. Maybe too much! I'm not afraid to say no to others when I need "me" time. But now and again, I catch my inner voice drilling into my self worth. Personally, I think the trick is to be conscious of it. Without judging yourself, gently turn the insult into praise.
How kind are you to yourself?
{Pre-edited image by Thayer Allyson Gowdy}
Here's my big adventure for the weekend: cleaning out our rusty fridge and hauling in a new one from Home Depot. Like the rest of our house, the kitchen is tiny, and the old refrigerator blocks a lovely window to the backyard. Our landlord offered to reimburse us if we could find one that fit underneath the sill. We couldn't. But we did find two affordable shorty fridges to place side by side. His and hers. Here's hoping they fit all our food!
Have an adventurous weekend (more adventurous than mine, please) and do enjoy the links...
Polenta rounds, my next dinner on the grill.
A carpenter's work bench turned kitchen island.
Cheeky painted toe heels.
How to make oatmeal face wash.
Someone please buy this awesome boat-shaped bar.
Could you do the vegan before 6 diet?
If I sewed, I'd make this front-tie hoodie.
Memorable wedding menu scrolls.
For whole food purists, make your own tofu.
And some posts of mine you may have missed...
{Image by Child At Heart Art}
How was your weekend, friends? We had a blast celebrating Hal's birthday. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen a few snapshots of our adventures, but I just had to share more on the blog.
I wanted Hal to wake up somewhere special on his birthday. So the day before, I rented a bed & breakfast sailboat through Airbnb. Her name is Lille Danser, a gorgeous 50' replica of an 1890's Danish revenue cutter, end docked on Bainbridge Island.
When I was little, my parents used to give my me and brother clues to find our birthday gifts hidden around the house. So I tried my hand at some clues for Hal. I gave him 5 throughout the day, leading him to the boat...
1. Pack your pajamas, toiletries too, grab your helmet, vroooom vroooom.
Follow the clues, you're in for a treat, your wife has been sneaky, hold on to your seat!
Head in the direction, where the sun goes down, toward the waters, of the Puget Sound.
Take Alaskan Way, prepare to turn right, you'll see a big sign, for a magical sprite.
This one was a bit confusing, but I was referring to the ferry!
Enjoy the breeze, and beautiful view, when the ferry docks, follow the queue.
The island is small, but your thirst is big, turn left on Winslow, for something to swig.
I stalled by stopping at the market for a bottle of wine so my family could arrive before us.
My parents' pup, Rudy, was loving the salty sea air.
Pull out your phone, for a trusty app, to find the marina, just follow the map.
Park in the lot, I'll lead the way, we've finally arrived, hip hip hooray!
My family was hiding in the cabin and surprised him when he got on the boat.
After our sail, I gave him his final clue...
Wait there's more, one last surprise, let's stay on board, to watch the sunrise.
Happy birthday love, tomorrow you'll be, the cutest 40-year-old, known to me.
We slept like babies with the gentle rocking of the boat and woke up to the sun streaming through our porthole. Tami, our gracious host, provided us with blueberry muffins, yogurt, fruit and french press coffee.
After breakfast, we rode the motorcycle back to Seattle to shower up and meet our friends at the horse races! Then ended the evening with sushi and Jim Gaffigan at the Paramount. It was a birthday for the books!
How to style denim shorts.
A brilliant solution for wall paint touch-ups.
Personal eggplant pizzas.
A DIY shapeable headband scarf.
How to make Anthro's diorama bookends.
Are you into the tie-front top trend?
The proper way to cut a watermelon.
A beautiful tree branch hand rail.
Glam up the garden with gold antler hose holders.
Where can I find this over-water swing set?
And some posts of mine you may have missed...
{Pre-edited image via Imogene + Willie}
I can always count on the LIFE archives to inspire. Groovy teenagers from the late sixties wearing leather fringe, graphic tights, corduroy bells and minis. What's not to love?
“The latest rule in girls’ high school fashion,” LIFE magazine proclaimed in 1969,
“is that there isn’t any.”
As the dance party wound down, it was finally dark enough for our movie. The world premiere green carpet screening of 2G4E.
At dusk, the flowers were pulled from the firepit and a roaring bonfire was lit. It was a nice escape for our guests who wanted a break from the dance floor. Hal's brother, Greg, set up an awesome gourmet smores bar with marshmallows, chocolate, mint, peanut butter, and cookies instead of grahams.
We served buttered popcorn in an old-fashioned popper while my brother manned the projector. Blankets were spread out on the grass in front of my dad's homemade screen: a white sheet hung between two trees.
After the movie ended... we heard a BOOM!
The fireworks show began. My dad and cousin shot them off up near the house. To the amazement of our California guests, this is one of the perks of living in the boonies of an unincorporated county in Washington. We bought extra mortar shells from 4th of July and saved them for the wedding. I later learned that a few friends were out in the row boat, stranded by the low tide, and watched the entire show from the water!
It was magical. And the only way to end our grandiose backyard DIY wedding. With a big, loud, colorful bang.
My dear friends, I hope you've enjoyed our photos as much as I enjoyed sharing them. Thank you again, Heather and Jon, for perfectly capturing our love and editing a crazy amount of images for this little (25-post) series! It's been such a pleasure reliving every moment of our most special day.
Watch our WEDDING VIDEO by Son of Sharkpig!
{Images by One Love Photo; Movie by Katia Herrera}
“The Sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”
-Jacques Cousteau
Sea-Tribes is an ongoing photo essay by Ryan Tatar, documenting modern surf culture with nostalgic vintage film. Gorgeous, no?
Makes me miss southern California. Hal and I are planning a scenic road trip later this summer to take his LA car up to Seattle. I'm looking forward to photographing our own ocean scenes. Maybe I'll bring along the Polaroid camera. Have you ever driven up the entire west coast?
{Images by Ryan Tatar}
Truer words have never been spoken, Mr. Schweitzer. I feel you. Have an inspiring weekend, my darlings. Please enjoy the links...
Speaking of music & cats, this tattoo is perfect.
So is this kitty bracelet, meow.
5 things to do with broken eyeshadow.
The cutest baby onesies I ever did see.
How to make a minimal bouquet.
I'm obsessed with these Mexican blanket shorts.
25 pretty party garlands.
Cots may be underrated.
Wheat grass ice cubes for your complexion.
A sweet DIY picnic blanket.
And some posts of mine you may have missed...
I don't think I've worn a bodysuit since the early 90's, if you don't count Halloween. But that may change now that I've found Nadia Tarr's nautical inspired convertible wrap bodysuits.
Wouldn't they be perfect for a European summer vacation? Pack two of them with a couple skirts, shorts or capris, and you have an entire week's worth of clothing. Leave your bra at home! And they even look cute as-is, romper style.
Are you into bodysuits?
{Images by Nadia Tarr}
After our world record attempt, the familiar Hava Nagila boomed over the speakers. Get ready kids, it's Hora time.
Our good friend, Jenny (in the polka dots) led the way, belting out the lyrics. I'm not Jewish, but I've been to a fair share of Jewish weddings over the years. I knew enough to hold hands, link arms, skip around and twirl.
Then this happened.
We were hoisted up to ridiculous heights in flimsy folding chairs. At first, too many men held me in the back with not enough support in the front. I felt myself slipping forward into face plant position. It was exhilarating! Glancing over at Hal flying high above the string lights was one of my favorite moments of the night.
My buddy, Jeremy, aka DJ Bishop, spun some old-school hip hop to get the party started right. You may remember him from my Mad Men-inspired birthday in Palm Springs. He used to DJ all our college parties at USC.
At one point, Luqman challenged Hal to a dance-off...
Requiring ultimate concentration.
I'm not sure who won, but it was the first time I ever saw Hal attempt the splits. I guess it takes an extra special occasion.
And wherever there's a bridge, I go under.
NEXT WEEK... the GRAND FINALE!
{Images by One Love Photo}
Have you ever had a cucamelon? They're a dollhouse-sized savory fruit hybrid of watermelon and cucumber, also known as Mexican sour gherkins. Here in the States, they're called mouse melons. Apparently, they taste like pure cucumber with a hint of lime.
I've yet to see them in grocery stores or markets, but James shows us how to grow them ourselves. They can be eaten straight off the plant, tossed with olive oil and salt, used as a martini garnish, or pickled.
I'm gonna have to get me some seeds!
{Images by Homegrown Revolution}
My heart is warmed by your thoughtful comments, emails, and messages regarding Bailey's passing last week. I don't know how I would have survived without your support.
While cleaning up her things, I dug out the custom portrait that Nan Lawson made for our little family last December, which we've yet to get framed. I cried happy tears, seeing the three of us together. I love that she'll always be remembered in this way.
Coming home to an empty house has been the hardest part. But being outdoors in nature has helped me heal. We had a nice intimate celebration on the 4th, and relaxed with friends at the Seattle Beer Fest over the weekend.
We took motorcycle rides to the park and lazy afternoon naps in the sun. We ate sandwiches on the beach and read books in the shade. With Bailey right there beside us.
{Image by Nan Lawson}
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
- Winnie the Pooh
Today, I had to say goodbye to my sweet little Bailey, my angel, my healer, my soulmate and best friend. Putting her to sleep has been the hardest thing I've ever done.
If you've been following our journey together, she was diagnosed with chronic renal failure around this time last year. With supplements, fluid injections, and reiki, she stabilized. Until she showed symptoms of hyperthyroidism, which were controlled with a few more medications. Around 2 months ago, she started vomiting daily and the vet concluded it was most likely inflammatory bowel disease or lymphoma cancer. She couldn't keep any food down and her 7-pound body shrank to skin and bones. We switched her diet and tried holistic remedies, but nothing seemed to help. The outrageous cost of medical tests and no-promise treatments on a 13-year old kitty with 3 terminal illnesses, just no longer made sense.
It took me quite awhile to accept her fate. I went through a lot of guilt about keeping her around, in so much pain, for my own sake. But I couldn't bear to make a decision until I saw some sort of sign that she was ready. Then over the weekend, she came to me in a dream, asking me to let her go.
I found a vet who came to our home to euthanize. I held her tiny head in my left hand with her front paws in my right, as she peacefully fell asleep in my lap.
I've never known another cat like her. She had the personality of a dog, so warm and friendly, always vocalizing, always greeting me at the door, always following me from room to room. She would knead her paws along my back, knowing exactly where my muscles were tense. I can still smell her sweet damp fur after she bathed. I can still hear her hypnotic purr, luring me to sleep. Every night, she would curl up under my arm and stay there until morning.
Maybe I'm writing this post too soon. It's still very raw. But I've been through 3 major losses in the past 2 months and I'm wondering what it all means, contemplating life, death, spirituality, and what lessons I'm supposed to learn. What I do know, is this. Bailes and I came into each other's lives for a reason. For healing, growth, comfort and love. We shared, and still share, a very strong spirit connection. I can only hope, that one day, we'll be lucky enough to find each other again.
I'll be taking a break from blogging this week. Thank you for understanding, my dears. I'll see you again next Monday.
