Please welcome Randi of Wild Magnolia...
An incredibly smart aunt of mine told me something one night, quite some time ago, that I’ve carried with me ever since. It was one of those moments, the kind just pleading for some profound commentary… for something beautiful to be said amidst the smoke and the music. And, she said it. In a little bar in South Louisiana as my uncle sang out “Please Come to Boston,” she took my hands and looked me in the eyes and said this…
“Be blown away… When you fall in love, never settle for anything less than being blown away…”
I wrote that down in 2010, but I return to it because the truth remains as relevant as it was years ago. This week, as we all send our quiet prayers and wishes of love and immense joy for our sweet Shannon, and wait with baited breath for the details, I am reflecting on this idea once again…
The truth is that we live in a cynical world, one in which we are often being steered away from love… from hope… from the romantic ideals we harbored as children. I was, quite frankly, queen of the cynics and the close-hearted for years. Yet somehow, I fought my way out of that space because I discovered what no one ever tells you… you will be hurt if you open your heart to love. It is inevitable. We are imperfect people trying to blindly find our way amidst an imperfect world. And, every now and then, our journey collides with that of someone who changes it all. Wherever you are in life, someone will inevitably stop you in your tracks and make you question every decision you’ve made, everything you’ve planned, and all that you thought you knew to be true. It will feel like forever. Like home after years in the wilderness and you will move mountains to make it work, to hold on to the only thing that ever seemed to “fit.” But it won’t help, because not every love story is forever. Still, what you must believe in the depths of your being is that even short stories are carefully strung together with magic.
It’s actually a profound event having your heart broken. It prepares you for the moment of meeting the person your soul is truly drawn to, and allows you the awareness and confidence to genuinely appreciate that experience for what it is. Myself, I’ve been in love quite a few times, I’ll admit. I’ve fallen head over heels for boys who were exactly what I needed when they arrived. Looking back, I understand them better and I appreciate each relationship for what it did. Each brought me closer to who I am and showed me the things that I was willing to accept in a partner and those that were deal breakers. Though I’ve had my heart truly shattered, and found myself as a weeping ball of brokenness on the bathroom floor more times than I will ever admit, I can say with complete conviction that I’ve loved great men. That isn’t me romanticizing the past; they were great guys who have grown to be great men and fathers and members of society. Sure, they hurt me… I hurt them… we hurt each other. But, when it is all said and done, we made each other better for the people we were meant for (and we are all meant for someone extraordinary).
If at this point, you are wondering if I’m married, engaged, or hopelessly in the throes of some torrid love-affair, the answer (much to my grandmother’s dismay) is no. But, as I look back on past loves and stand beside my friends as they begin new relationships or pledge their lives to someone that makes them the best version of themselves, I am content in knowing that when the universe sees fit, I won’t be on this journey alone. Neither will you… because the only purpose for this life is to love and to grow in love no matter where it finds us.
In the meantime, those of us who are still waiting, refusing to settle for anything less than being blown away by another human being, will wait patiently, basking in the light of the many versions in which love presents itself in our lives. Whoever we are, wherever we are from, and wherever we are going, we are all surrounded by love in many forms. We are daughters, sisters, friends, aunts, and the saving graces of people we pour our love onto. No matter where love finds you, be open to it… embrace it and then send it back out into the world to envelope another sweet spirit. Isn’t that why we are here after all?
So, in the spirit of love, all things beautiful, and the celebration of this time, I am sending out warm wishes to Shannon and Hal, for a perfect wedding and a lifetime of love, happiness and great adventures. Thank you for being a lovely example of the many forms that love may take to lead our souls to everlasting joy.
{Images by Max Wanger}
