My birthday is on Sunday. We’re spending a long weekend in Leavenworth, a quaint little Bavarian village a few hours east of Seattle. I finally get to play in the snow! Not midwest snow, but snow nonetheless.
As of today, I've traveled 363 days around the sun. But it seems like just yesterday I was at Wellspring, celebrating my birthday with nearest and dearest, assembling a mega baked potato bar, giving each other tarot card readings and playing Hedbandz by the fire.
This birthday will be a scarier one. I’ll officially be a mid-thirty-something! How did that happen? I’m hitting that number where your eggs officially shrivel up and die. Major exaggeration, yes. But those fertility experts don’t exactly make a girl feel good about growing older. I wish our bodies worked the opposite way. Eggs should mature as we do. When we’re mentally, emotionally and financially ready to raise a child. But come to think of it, I may not ever be mentally, emotionally or financially ready to raise a child!
The great thing about getting older
is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
- Madeleine L'Engle
It's crazy to look back at my 19-year old self, when I predicted by my current age, I'd own a home, two children and a Grammy. That didn't exactly happen. But I have a husband! A mighty fine one. I have a cute little rented house. We're working hard on those children. And that Grammy will forever be a dangling carrot. I'm well on my way to being the person I thought I'd become. It's just taking a lot longer than expected. And that's okay. Despite societal fertility fears, I'm beginning to enjoy the aging process.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.
- C.S. Lewis
Remember when I asked you about becoming an adult? I may never feel like an adult, but I do feel more secure and stable in my thirties, compared with my twenties, though my parents may say otherwise. I feel more wise. More spiritual. And much more confident. One strange thing that surprised myself, and may surprise you too, is my level of ambition. It may seem to outsiders that I’m highly driven - your typical Capricorn. And I was at one point. But as I age, I become less concerned about how other people define success, and more focused on my day-to-day happiness. What small things today will bring me joy? That is ultimately my goal.
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
I’m not getting old, I’m getting juicy and flavorful. A few bruises here and there, but they proudly mark my adventures and lessons learned. I'm a peach. An avocado. Or better yet... cheese!
How do you feel about birthdays?